tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
