Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
