i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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