i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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