do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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