I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
