Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
meet me or not, i'm out of control
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
