I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
not ubering you a puppy
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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