Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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