You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
