Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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