so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
