I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
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I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
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Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
there is glitter all over my balls
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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