Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
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