Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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