Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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