a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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