i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Randomize
