I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
