omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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