thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
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