my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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