these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
