so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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