I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
