Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
