butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
