Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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