Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
