proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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