It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
