So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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