We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Can I color on your dick again?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
