And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
