I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize
