You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
