you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
