I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
