i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize
