i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
