You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
