let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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