I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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