I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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