U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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