glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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