That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
