We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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