i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Two words: blizzard sex
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
