just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
