That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
whose ass print is on the piano?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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