If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I think i got beer on your cat.
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