As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
