I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
