I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
