We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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