There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
