You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Randomize
