There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
